We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
