great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
