The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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