And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize