Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
