1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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