i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
