how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
