i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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