There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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