we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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