I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize