i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
