Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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