Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize