I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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