We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
