i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
