dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
