? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize