im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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