I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
