I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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