the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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