Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
