I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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