I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
