Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I need help removing her.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
