Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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