Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
