420 ftw
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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