Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
