I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
