I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
