About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
