You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
