Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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