you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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