The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Boobs speak an international language.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
