so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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