You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
