i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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