it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
it's like iHOP with fire
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
