Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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