she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
