I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
