i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
