I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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