why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
