Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
