brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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