she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
