Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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