I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I could fuck to npr.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
