shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
