I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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