I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize