yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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