wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
