brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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