I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
