you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm both gender and math confused
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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